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Author
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Topic: Analogies.. for a little levity
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Fehler
Knows what it's all about
Member # 713
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posted October 18, 2005 08:16 PM
It seems, after reading through several posts, that some of us good old boys & gals have some good analogies or old country sayings we use. What is your favority, unique, funny, or whatever saying?
My first job out of college my boss had a ton of them. I was working on a motor at the top of a feed leg & he crawls up the latter on the platform. There I am trying very seriously & with all I had to loosen a bolt & the first thing out of his mouth is "damn Fehler, your straining harder than a pup passing a peach seed". I damn near droped the wrench on my foot from laughing so hard.
One of my dads' favorite saying (that I heard many times growing up) was "proper prior planning prevents piss poor performance.." (I know, not exactly an analogy, but you get the idea.) ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Lets hear 'em ..Fehler
Posts: 12 | From: Crawford, TX. | Registered: Oct 2005
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Q-Wagoner
FREE TRIAL MEMBERSHIP
Member # 33
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posted October 18, 2005 09:52 PM
Hello, I am from the government and am here to help.
“Rock music has nothing to do with Satanism” Says Damien Lucifer, lead singer of “Antichrist”
If they put your brain on a razor blade it would look like a BB in the middle of a four-lane highway.
I refuse to have a battle of the wits with an unarmed man.
Vegetables!! If I wanted vegetables I would have butchered a chicken.
“Vegetarian” An old ****** word for bad hunter.
Vegetables are not food!!! Vegetables are what food eats.
The only thing I feel when I kill is the recoil of my rifle.
A sucking chest wound is the first indication your cammo is not up to par.
You have a face for radio
He was as mad as a queer with a cold sore on Valentines day.
Why don’t you go out side and play hide and go F@%$ your self.
You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.
Good hunting.
Q,
Posts: 617 | From: Nebraska | Registered: Jan 2003
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Crow Woman
Knows what it's all about
Member # 157
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posted October 19, 2005 02:29 AM
Love is like a Mason Jar, somewhere out there, there is that lid that will seal perfectly.
yeah sure... mine has either been rusted, bent or the seal has been dry rotted
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Sheri L Baity
Lord, Please give me peace, because if you give me strength, I might beat someone to death!
Posts: 687 | From: Covington | Registered: Mar 2003
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Tim Behle
Administrator MacNeal Sector
Member # 209
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posted October 19, 2005 05:51 AM
If you want sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis
He's got more shit than the Christmas goose.
Off Like a prom dress
I'm about as happy as a queer in boy's school!
[ October 19, 2005, 05:53 AM: Message edited by: Tim Behle ]
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Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take
an ass kickin'.
Posts: 3160 | From: Five Miles East of Vic, AZ | Registered: Jun 2003
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Steve Craig
Lacks Opposable Thumbs/what's up with that?
Member # 12
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posted October 19, 2005 06:25 AM
" Government is not the solution to our problems....
Government IS the problem"
Ronald Reagan
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Yes, we did produce a near-perfect republic. But will they keep it? Or will they, in the enjoyment of plenty, lose the memory of freedom? Material abundance without character is the path of destruction. - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 442 | From: Cottonwood,Az, USA | Registered: Jan 2003
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2dogs
Knows what it's all about
Member # 649
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posted October 19, 2005 06:53 AM
10 million fly's eat dung, how can they all be wrong?
Author unknown
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The last living creatures, will be coyotes & cockroaches.
Author unknown
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You can get more, with a kind word & a gun...rather then just with a kind word.
[Nutty Professor?]circa; mid 60's.
Posts: 1034 | From: central Iowa | Registered: Apr 2005
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TheHuntedOne
Knows what it's all about
Member # 623
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posted October 19, 2005 07:00 AM
I'll bet that some time tomorrow, you're going to wish you hadn't done that.
If I want any crap out of you, I'll squeeze your head.
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The On Line Resource For Custom Call Makers
THO Game Calls
Posts: 266 | From: New Hampshire | Registered: Mar 2005
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Q-Wagoner
FREE TRIAL MEMBERSHIP
Member # 33
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posted October 19, 2005 08:27 AM
I am as happy as a carp in a septic tank.
I am as happy as a pig in Palestine
Good hunting.
Q,
Posts: 617 | From: Nebraska | Registered: Jan 2003
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Fehler
Knows what it's all about
Member # 713
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posted October 19, 2005 08:43 AM
He's funnier than ears on an acorn.
We're tighter than bark on a tree.
Useless as tits on a boar hog.
Posts: 12 | From: Crawford, TX. | Registered: Oct 2005
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Lonny
PANTS ON THE GROUND
Member # 19
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posted October 19, 2005 03:32 PM
I used to work with a guy who had one for every scenario. I wish I could remember even half of them.
"Steeper than a cows face"
"It's raining like a cow pissin' on a flat rock"
"Crooked as a boars prick"
"Slicker than snot on a door knob"
"Colder than a Witch's tit" (I always wondered about that one?)
"Older than grandpa's buckskin rubber"(condom nowadays)
"Nervous as a whore in church"
Posts: 1209 | From: Lewiston, Idaho USA | Registered: Jan 2003
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Locohead
World Famous Smoke Dancer
Member # 15
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posted October 19, 2005 05:16 PM
"faster than greasified moose poop"
shish goom bee,
kick 'em in the knee
shish goom bass,
kick 'em in the other knee
LOL sorry guys, I just had to participate but I couldn't think of any real ones...LOL ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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I love my critters and chick!!!! :)
Posts: 2219 | From: CO | Registered: Jan 2003
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Cdog911
"There are some ideas so absurd only an intellectual could believe them."--George Orwell.
Member # 7
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posted October 19, 2005 07:08 PM
My kids really love,
"Wish in one hand, shit in the other. See which one fills up first."
"She's so ugly you can only stand to look at her with one eye at a time." (Thanks to Gerry on that one),
and the number one remark that makes my teenaged son cringe....
"God might have put them on opposite ends of your body, son, but your smart mouth done got your dumb ass in trouble again!"
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I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something; and, because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.
Posts: 5438 | From: The gun-lovin', gun-friendly wild, wild west | Registered: Jan 2003
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Locohead
World Famous Smoke Dancer
Member # 15
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posted October 19, 2005 08:47 PM
"Stop thinking with the small head"
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I love my critters and chick!!!! :)
Posts: 2219 | From: CO | Registered: Jan 2003
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Q-Wagoner
FREE TRIAL MEMBERSHIP
Member # 33
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posted October 19, 2005 09:13 PM
FIVE critters Loco? Talk about irony. LOL
Good hunting.
Q,
Posts: 617 | From: Nebraska | Registered: Jan 2003
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted October 20, 2005 08:36 PM
Tighter than a bull's ass in fly season!
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 31467 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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Crow Woman
Knows what it's all about
Member # 157
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posted October 20, 2005 11:23 PM
I just used it last night...
He's happier than pigs in shit!
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Sheri L Baity
Lord, Please give me peace, because if you give me strength, I might beat someone to death!
Posts: 687 | From: Covington | Registered: Mar 2003
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Tim Behle
Administrator MacNeal Sector
Member # 209
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posted October 21, 2005 09:10 AM
I'm not the Ass kicker,
or even the ass kicker's son.
But I can kick your ass
until the ass kicker comes.
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Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take
an ass kickin'.
Posts: 3160 | From: Five Miles East of Vic, AZ | Registered: Jun 2003
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Jrbhunter
PAYS ATTENsION TO deTAIL
Member # 459
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posted October 21, 2005 09:52 AM
Anyone that has spent much time around me has heard a few of my infamous vulgarities.
"That boy'd rather kiss a man than eat a cheeseburger... and he obviously ain't got nothin' against a cheeseburger."
"She's a butter face."
"I was looking for a job when I found this place"
"No sense in building an idiot-proof product... they'll just build a better idiot"
"One more comment like that and I'm going to the woods" (Used to work well on the wife.... well ex-wife)
Posts: 615 | From: Indiana | Registered: Dec 2004
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trippledeuce
PAKMAN
Member # 720
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posted October 21, 2005 10:20 PM
first post on this board, just couldn't resist when I saw this thread.
lower than a snake belly in a wheel rut
if, if,--------if my aunt had balls she'd a been my uncle
more dangerous than a snaggled tooth queer with the hick-ups
gotta be tough if your gonna be stupid
coors light beer is kinda like the hoover-----damn near water
make like a hippy and smoke this joint
such fun,
Shawn
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he aint gonna sit there all day!
Posts: 3 | From: Abilene, TX | Registered: Oct 2005
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted October 21, 2005 10:44 PM
Welcome to the New Huntmasters, tripledeuce. Glad to have you on board.
Good hunting. LB
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 31467 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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Rich Higgins
unknown comic
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posted October 22, 2005 08:40 AM
IF YOU SHOVED BILL MARTZ KNOWLEDGE OF COYOTES UP A FLEAS ASS, IT WOULD RATTLE AROUND LIKE A BB IN A BOXCAR.
Good one, huh Bill? Your turn.
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Locohead
World Famous Smoke Dancer
Member # 15
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posted October 22, 2005 09:06 AM
"Make like a tree and leave"
(only for reference)
"Make like a circumscision and Head Out" lol
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I love my critters and chick!!!! :)
Posts: 2219 | From: CO | Registered: Jan 2003
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Rich Higgins
unknown comic
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posted October 22, 2005 09:22 AM
Danny,
Make like a shepherd...
Make like a plumber....
Make like an amoeba....
Make like Onecoyote's ex-wives..... ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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Fehler
Knows what it's all about
Member # 713
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posted October 24, 2005 08:31 PM
Might? ...mites grow on a chickens ass.
Posts: 12 | From: Crawford, TX. | Registered: Oct 2005
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