|
Author
|
Topic: Need a laugh? (Brief nudity)
|
Jrbhunter
PAYS ATTENsION TO deTAIL
Member # 459
|
posted November 01, 2006 04:30 PM
I'll tell ya right now... this may be the closest thing to male nudity that's ever hit a hunting forum. Those who are squeemish should turn away now. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) Too funny not to share:
------------------------------------
I got a late start to the deer woods Monday because of the trapline, only having about 2 hours until dark I decided to try some bleating to raise my odds of popping a doe. 30 minutes into the hunt I belted out a few bleats but saw no response. 20 minutes later I tried again, this time a doe came cruising in to check out the whimpers. She came into a horrible spot, stopping 30 yards down a trail only offering me a low lung/ heart shot. I took the shot and came up about 1" too low- knicking her leg.
She ran away 75 yards and I started in again with the distressed fawn cries but cranked up the emotion a little. At that point she came charging in, stomping and snorting the whole way. I worked her into about 33 yards again but this time got a good broadside view. Having held the bow at full draw for over 2 minutes I unknowingly locked my elbow- when I cut the string loose I instantly felt the string bruise my forearm!! OUCH!
The arrow landed a little further back than I wanted.. but still seemed lethal. I waited 20 minutes (Dark now) and got down to inspect the scene. I found my arrow but it was too dark to see blood- of course in the true supersticious fashion of a professional guide I hunt without a light or knife just to make sure I need them!
I knocked an arrow and proceeded out the trail where the doe had ran. 10 minutes into the search I came to a log in the trail, I jumped up on it and bounced over to the next one. That next log turned it's head and looked up at me!!! DEER!!!
The doe had bedded down beside the treetop and was immobile. I drew back as I stood over her and pumped another broadhead through her chest cavity. Up she came- crashing off into the darkness! I wasn't suprised that she got up but I was suprised to see her make it 100 yards and go over a hill! ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
By this time I have dug out the little light on my keychain, I head for the last place I saw her. I pick up blood, nearly crawling on my knees to draw enough light, and follow it to a little swampy area. I had never seen this swamp before- so I was curious as to how big it was and where it went! The deer obviously went in but I was hesitant to follow... I walked the bank slowly with my cute little light in hand.
25 yards from where she went into the swam she had come back out- water and blood everywhere. Then 10 yards later she went back in... 30 yards later she came back out!! I knew this was going to be a long night so I packed up all my things and headed back to the truck.
By this time it's 8:30 and I have no phone service. I fired up the truck and drove 5 miles to a place where I get reception. The oldest brother was my lifeline, I dialed him up only to find he was tracking a deer himself. We made arrangements to meet up and gather these deer- we met in the middle but it was still a 30 minute drive for each of us.
First things first, we go collect the other deer. Shot by my niece's boyfriend- it was an easy find and simple drag. Then back up north to settle my swampy mess!
Four of us decended on the woods with lights, lanters and knives. After 1/2 mile of walking we reach the spot where my deer had flirted with the swamp water. Before I started to search for the bloodtrail again my curiousity struck me as to how big this swamp was. I dropped a flashlight on it and found it to be about 2 acres.... but wait... what's that?
Is that an eye out in the middle of it?! Ohhhhhhh crappppp!!! There she was, dead adrift the muddy water, entangled in driftwood and rotted treetops. It's 10:30 now, about 60 degrees and windy. Not exactly my favorite swimming conditions but I know nobody else is going in after this thing. ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
As I stood there pondering my options, my brother mummbles "We won't watch" in a sarcastic tone. I knew better but I went ahead and started stripping. It didn't take long for me to get down to my undies and set foot in the water. BRRRRRR that crap was cold!
I spent about five minutes standing at that magical depth... somewhere between knee deep and waiste high. Finally I just gave in and plunged out into the merky waters. Sticks, rocks, snapping turtles and an anaconda or two couldn't stop me now- I was on a mission.
As I got out into the water about 10 yards I heard a familiar sound. When I turned around I felt like a hollywood star- ahhh the wonders of camera phones! Snap-snap-snap echoed through the woods... my pasty white butt forever etched in Kodak Moments.
It took me about ten minutes to fish my doe out of the swamp and drag her back. I then gutted her and got dressed for the long drag out. The swim was refreshing suprisingly, the long drag helped warm me up and I felt fine once we got back to the truck.
Here are some pictures, courtesy of my brother, niece and hunting buddy. This has to be up in the top 10 of stupid things I've done for a deer! ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Just getting started... easing my way in.
Going full steam, in too deep to quit now!
Here she is, a pretty healthy doe. Should've had 160" of antler on her head after all that drama!
Hope you got a chuckle... I'll try to make that the last time my ass is pictured on this site!
[ November 01, 2006, 04:30 PM: Message edited by: Jrbhunter ]
Posts: 615 | From: Indiana | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
The Outdoor Tripp
Knows what it's all about
Member # 619
|
posted November 01, 2006 04:44 PM
What's even better than a great story?
Three pictures of white tail.
Good one Jrb!
--------------------
The Outdoor Tripp
www.theoutdoortripp.com
"All great truths begin as blasphemies."
Posts: 805 | From: Texas | Registered: Mar 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
JD
HONORARY OKIE .... and Tim's at fault!
Member # 768
|
posted November 01, 2006 04:45 PM
Oh shit!! I gotta hand it to ya Jason, that was a hell of an effort, good job on the deer, as for the pics,.......I`m just not quite sure what to say.
--------------------
Jason
--------------------------------------
What do Obama & TA17Rem have in common........both are clueless asshats!!!
Posts: 1456 | From: NE. | Registered: Dec 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
The Outdoor Tripp
Knows what it's all about
Member # 619
|
posted November 01, 2006 04:50 PM
Jason,
Where in Nebraska are you from?
--------------------
The Outdoor Tripp
www.theoutdoortripp.com
"All great truths begin as blasphemies."
Posts: 805 | From: Texas | Registered: Mar 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Cdog911
"There are some ideas so absurd only an intellectual could believe them."--George Orwell.
Member # 7
|
posted November 01, 2006 07:01 PM
That's just wrong, man.
BRAIN SCRAPE!!!
--------------------
I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something; and, because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.
Posts: 5438 | From: The gun-lovin', gun-friendly wild, wild west | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Locohead
World Famous Smoke Dancer
Member # 15
|
posted November 03, 2006 09:25 PM
JRB, Great Story. Been there, done that. Only was doing to get an injured redhead duck I'd shot. And ohhhhh yes, BBBBrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
I admire guys that track hard and do whatever is necessary to retrieve their kill. Great job man!
--------------------
I love my critters and chick!!!! :)
Posts: 2219 | From: CO | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
JD
HONORARY OKIE .... and Tim's at fault!
Member # 768
|
posted November 03, 2006 10:42 PM
Tripp, I live just outside of Kearney NE.
--------------------
Jason
--------------------------------------
What do Obama & TA17Rem have in common........both are clueless asshats!!!
Posts: 1456 | From: NE. | Registered: Dec 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic
