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Author
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Topic: I hate the ODP!
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csmithers
unknown comic
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posted October 01, 2007 08:24 PM
I started a new job about a month and a half ago and my new boss has this obsurd fascination with the ODP. What is the ODP, you ask? Well it's the Open Door Piss of course. He likes to hit the head and leave the door wide open! We work in a small office and the bathroom is like one of those in a doctor's office. One toilet, a sink and a garbge can, the echo is enough to gag a maggot. There is an ****** , dots not feathers, computer programmer that comes in on a semi regular basis. He is, from what I hear, about as bad. He likes to do his dirty work with the door unlocked.(In your best Eastern ****** voice) "Oh no, do not enter! I am pooping!"
I am on the verge of quitting because of the ODP, but if I walk in on the programmer it's over.
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted October 01, 2007 08:51 PM
Yeah, that's right up there with a warm Miller's, or any Miller's, for that matter?
Good hunting. LB
edit: just for the record, are you...not that it matters
[ October 01, 2007, 08:55 PM: Message edited by: Leonard ]
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 31450 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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Tim Behle
Administrator MacNeal Sector
Member # 209
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posted October 02, 2007 05:02 PM
Smithers, You sound like a ******* pussy. Grow up and get over it!
Leonard, If you don't like Miller Beer, then stay out of my cooler! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take
an ass kickin'.
Posts: 3160 | From: Five Miles East of Vic, AZ | Registered: Jun 2003
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csmithers
unknown comic
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posted October 02, 2007 05:38 PM
I guess you old guys are yet to get used to indoor plumbing.
Tim, there will be 35 guys peeing in the desert at the campout. Unless, you got up from your chair, spun around, dropped your pants to your ankles and took a leak right there it's ok. There is an invisible line and I'm betting you will stumble a ways out into the desert, cross that line and then go. When drinking and fully loaded, of course, the buffer grows smaller.
I Edited out the part about my boss' wrinkly boys becuase it was crude.
[ October 02, 2007, 06:24 PM: Message edited by: smithers ]
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted October 02, 2007 05:51 PM
I'm sure there is a time and place to moan about such things? Is this it? Smithers, you need to coyboy up. If talking don't work, volunteer to close (slam) the friggin' door for them!
Tim, I would not steal a Miller's from your cooler. I'd rather drink a can of battery acid.
Good hunting. LB
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 31450 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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csmithers
unknown comic
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posted October 02, 2007 06:19 PM
You are right Leaonard, time and place. I will stop whining like a teenage school girl.
I used to be a fan of Miller with the red label and Miller Ice. That was actually some good stuff.
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Tim Behle
Administrator MacNeal Sector
Member # 209
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posted October 02, 2007 07:25 PM
Smithers,
It's rare for me to ever walk more than a few steps to take a leak. Drinking doesn't have anything to do with it. I will walk further to take a dump, generally to the North or East. But it's not because I'm afraid someone might see me, I just don't like the smell of shit and the winds usually come out of the South and West.
I've never liked those narrow dividers that most offices put in between the urinals. They make me feel crowded, I've never felt any reason to be embarrassed about the body God gave me. I may never make it as a porn star, but I am comfortable with what I have.
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Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take
an ass kickin'.
Posts: 3160 | From: Five Miles East of Vic, AZ | Registered: Jun 2003
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted October 02, 2007 08:29 PM
Well, when in doubt, whup it out.
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 31450 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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Jack Roberts
Knows what it's all about
Member # 13
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posted October 02, 2007 09:56 PM
When your complaints are that trivial, you must be doing well and don't deserve much sympathy.
Jack
Posts: 499 | From: Elko NV formerly MD | Registered: Jan 2003
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Rich
2,000th post PAKMAN
Member # 112
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posted October 03, 2007 12:44 PM
Don't ya just LOVE that Jack Roberts feller? He tells it like he see's it, and he is never wrong. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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If you call the coyotes in close, you won't NEED a high dollar range finder.
Posts: 2854 | From: Iowa | Registered: Feb 2003
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Cdog911
"There are some ideas so absurd only an intellectual could believe them."--George Orwell.
Member # 7
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posted October 03, 2007 02:42 PM
I've never liked those narrow dividers that most offices put in between the urinals. They make me feel crowded,
Tim, do you have one of them there "wide stances"? How do you feel about the airport? ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something; and, because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.
Posts: 5438 | From: The gun-lovin', gun-friendly wild, wild west | Registered: Jan 2003
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tlbradford
Rimfires are MAGIC on COYOTES! If you do your part
Member # 1232
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posted October 03, 2007 03:14 PM
Just so I know how its done in the desert...When you're drunk enough to need something to lean on when you're taking a whizz, how do you avoid the cactus thorns? Maybe you just drink more and don't notice the pain?
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"Dan Carey ain't that special" - LB
Posts: 423 | From: Spokane Valley, WA | Registered: Mar 2007
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newbomb
Knows what it's all about
Member # 888
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posted October 03, 2007 03:19 PM
I hate miller beer also and if it makes ya feel better im the opposite of Tim, I have stage fright and just cant go with people too close or a door that wont lock!
Posts: 66 | From: southern indiana | Registered: Jul 2006
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted October 03, 2007 03:19 PM
It's a short learning curve, Dude. Sort of like remembering which hand you ate jalapeŅos with, before taking a leak. You have to figure everything has stickers, spines or some type of thorn.
Good hunting. LB
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 31450 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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csmithers
unknown comic
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posted October 03, 2007 05:47 PM
quote:
When your complaints are that trivial, you must be doing well and don't deserve much sympathy.
Jack, no sympathy? That is exactly what I was looking for. Smug.
Anyone that thinks I was looking for a sympathetic ear with my post may just be a complete doofus.
This may be tough for some of you to do but unpucker your ass for a bit and enjoy some humor, for Christ's sake. Don't all do it at once or it may cause a minor shift of the Earth on it's axis and throw off someone's already shitty satellite signal.
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Rich Higgins
unknown comic
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posted October 03, 2007 05:59 PM
Most don't get your sense of humor, Chris.
You are an aquired taste, kinda like Scotch or a good cigar. It didn't take me very long to become a fan of yours.
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Jrbhunter
PAYS ATTENsION TO deTAIL
Member # 459
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posted October 03, 2007 06:04 PM
Newbomb, first you have a phobia of taking a dump in a public restroom and now you get stagefright when pissing? You're such a chick.
PS: Sorry Smithers, but I'm an open-door-pisser myself. Primarily because of the reaction it draws from the uptight homophobes like Newbomb that work for me.
Posts: 615 | From: Indiana | Registered: Dec 2004
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csmithers
unknown comic
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posted October 03, 2007 06:55 PM
Thanks, #3. Some people are perpetually Crankish. I'm no Lenny Bruce but......
JRB, my brother has a public restroom phobia. I think he'd be more comfortable in a diaper. There is definitely a comfortability factor that goes along with the open door policy.
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted October 03, 2007 08:58 PM
Don't worry, smithers, we all love ya. Higgins vouches for you and that's good enough for me. Got to be able to take a little heat, once in a while and it's your turn in the barrel. Basically because you are so easy.
Good hunting. LB
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 31450 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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JD
HONORARY OKIE .... and Tim's at fault!
Member # 768
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posted October 03, 2007 11:18 PM
Yea we all love ya, like the retarded brother we never had.
You wouldn`t get along so well on the jobsite Smitherinski, I suspect you`d be a little put out if you walked around the corner & saw me pinchin` one off in a 5 gal. bucket....no? Never mind leaving a door open
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Jason
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What do Obama & TA17Rem have in common........both are clueless asshats!!!
Posts: 1456 | From: NE. | Registered: Dec 2005
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csmithers
unknown comic
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posted October 04, 2007 06:28 AM
Leonard, I have yet to figure out if #3 vouching for you is a curse or a good thing. He's a polarizing figure. I just get warmed up when the heat is on. No pun intended. I'm brackish like that.
JD, I used to work construction so I know all too well about the buckets and drywall mud boxes. We liked to refer to the boxes in the corner as Mystery Boxes. You never knew what kind of surprises they would contain. Never kick a box it may not be empty.
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted October 04, 2007 07:51 AM
It's a good thing, smithers. Otherwise, I wouldn't be aware of how funny you can be? Like now, I'm laughing so hard, I can hardly see the keyboarc.
But, you got yourself into this without my help, so (and although) I don't like to see you getting pummeled, you can figure out how to regain your street cred. without
Whoa, here comes Danny Bonaduce/run!
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 31450 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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Rich Higgins
unknown comic
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posted October 04, 2007 10:40 AM
Polarizing? LOL.
Chris, which are you? The kettle or the pot?
Leonard, what the heck is a keyboarc?
Danny Bonaduce is a badass, but that stunt is definitely going to cost him.
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted October 04, 2007 11:24 AM
When your fingers hit slightly offcenter, it is possible to write "keyboarc" instead of the key above, which is a "D". I have to keep constantly drawing you pictures. You are such a polar figure.
additionally; I saw the clip and the little faggot definitely jumped on Danny. I don't see where he has a case?
Good hunting. LG
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 31450 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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Rich Higgins
unknown comic
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posted October 04, 2007 12:12 PM
Tyler just showed me the clip also and it doesn't match the news account yesterday. Some nonsense about tossing him off the stage face first into a chair.
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