This is topic Analogies.. for a little levity in forum Member forum at The New Huntmastersbbs!.
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Posted by Fehler (Member # 713) on October 18, 2005, 08:16 PM:
It seems, after reading through several posts, that some of us good old boys & gals have some good analogies or old country sayings we use. What is your favority, unique, funny, or whatever saying?
My first job out of college my boss had a ton of them. I was working on a motor at the top of a feed leg & he crawls up the latter on the platform. There I am trying very seriously & with all I had to loosen a bolt & the first thing out of his mouth is "damn Fehler, your straining harder than a pup passing a peach seed". I damn near droped the wrench on my foot from laughing so hard.
One of my dads' favorite saying (that I heard many times growing up) was "proper prior planning prevents piss poor performance.." (I know, not exactly an analogy, but you get the idea.) ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Lets hear 'em ..Fehler
Posted by Q-Wagoner (Member # 33) on October 18, 2005, 09:52 PM:
Hello, I am from the government and am here to help.
“Rock music has nothing to do with Satanism” Says Damien Lucifer, lead singer of “Antichrist”
If they put your brain on a razor blade it would look like a BB in the middle of a four-lane highway.
I refuse to have a battle of the wits with an unarmed man.
Vegetables!! If I wanted vegetables I would have butchered a chicken.
“Vegetarian” An old ****** word for bad hunter.
Vegetables are not food!!! Vegetables are what food eats.
The only thing I feel when I kill is the recoil of my rifle.
A sucking chest wound is the first indication your cammo is not up to par.
You have a face for radio
He was as mad as a queer with a cold sore on Valentines day.
Why don’t you go out side and play hide and go F@%$ your self.
You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.
Good hunting.
Q,
Posted by Crow Woman (Member # 157) on October 19, 2005, 02:29 AM:
Love is like a Mason Jar, somewhere out there, there is that lid that will seal perfectly.
yeah sure... mine has either been rusted, bent or the seal has been dry rotted
Posted by Tim Behle (Member # 209) on October 19, 2005, 05:51 AM:
If you want sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis
He's got more shit than the Christmas goose.
Off Like a prom dress
I'm about as happy as a queer in boy's school!
[ October 19, 2005, 05:53 AM: Message edited by: Tim Behle ]
Posted by Steve Craig (Member # 12) on October 19, 2005, 06:25 AM:
" Government is not the solution to our problems....
Government IS the problem"
Ronald Reagan
Posted by 2dogs (Member # 649) on October 19, 2005, 06:53 AM:
10 million fly's eat dung, how can they all be wrong?
Author unknown
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The last living creatures, will be coyotes & cockroaches.
Author unknown
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You can get more, with a kind word & a gun...rather then just with a kind word.
[Nutty Professor?]circa; mid 60's.
Posted by TheHuntedOne (Member # 623) on October 19, 2005, 07:00 AM:
I'll bet that some time tomorrow, you're going to wish you hadn't done that.
If I want any crap out of you, I'll squeeze your head.
Posted by Q-Wagoner (Member # 33) on October 19, 2005, 08:27 AM:
I am as happy as a carp in a septic tank.
I am as happy as a pig in Palestine
Good hunting.
Q,
Posted by Fehler (Member # 713) on October 19, 2005, 08:43 AM:
He's funnier than ears on an acorn.
We're tighter than bark on a tree.
Useless as tits on a boar hog.
Posted by Lonny (Member # 19) on October 19, 2005, 03:32 PM:
I used to work with a guy who had one for every scenario. I wish I could remember even half of them.
"Steeper than a cows face"
"It's raining like a cow pissin' on a flat rock"
"Crooked as a boars prick"
"Slicker than snot on a door knob"
"Colder than a Witch's tit" (I always wondered about that one?)
"Older than grandpa's buckskin rubber"(condom nowadays)
"Nervous as a whore in church"
Posted by Locohead (Member # 15) on October 19, 2005, 05:16 PM:
"faster than greasified moose poop"
shish goom bee,
kick 'em in the knee
shish goom bass,
kick 'em in the other knee
LOL sorry guys, I just had to participate but I couldn't think of any real ones...LOL ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
Posted by Cdog911 (Member # 7) on October 19, 2005, 07:08 PM:
My kids really love,
"Wish in one hand, shit in the other. See which one fills up first."
"She's so ugly you can only stand to look at her with one eye at a time." (Thanks to Gerry on that one),
and the number one remark that makes my teenaged son cringe....
"God might have put them on opposite ends of your body, son, but your smart mouth done got your dumb ass in trouble again!"
Posted by Locohead (Member # 15) on October 19, 2005, 08:47 PM:
"Stop thinking with the small head"
Posted by Q-Wagoner (Member # 33) on October 19, 2005, 09:13 PM:
FIVE critters Loco? Talk about irony. LOL
Good hunting.
Q,
Posted by Leonard (Member # 2) on October 20, 2005, 08:36 PM:
Tighter than a bull's ass in fly season!
Posted by Crow Woman (Member # 157) on October 20, 2005, 11:23 PM:
I just used it last night...
He's happier than pigs in shit!
Posted by Tim Behle (Member # 209) on October 21, 2005, 09:10 AM:
I'm not the Ass kicker,
or even the ass kicker's son.
But I can kick your ass
until the ass kicker comes.
Posted by Jrbhunter (Member # 459) on October 21, 2005, 09:52 AM:
Anyone that has spent much time around me has heard a few of my infamous vulgarities.
"That boy'd rather kiss a man than eat a cheeseburger... and he obviously ain't got nothin' against a cheeseburger."
"She's a butter face."
"I was looking for a job when I found this place"
"No sense in building an idiot-proof product... they'll just build a better idiot"
"One more comment like that and I'm going to the woods" (Used to work well on the wife.... well ex-wife)
Posted by trippledeuce (Member # 720) on October 21, 2005, 10:20 PM:
first post on this board, just couldn't resist when I saw this thread.
lower than a snake belly in a wheel rut
if, if,--------if my aunt had balls she'd a been my uncle
more dangerous than a snaggled tooth queer with the hick-ups
gotta be tough if your gonna be stupid
coors light beer is kinda like the hoover-----damn near water
make like a hippy and smoke this joint
such fun,
Shawn
Posted by Leonard (Member # 2) on October 21, 2005, 10:44 PM:
Welcome to the New Huntmasters, tripledeuce. Glad to have you on board.
Good hunting. LB
Posted by Rich Higgins (Member # 3) on October 22, 2005, 08:40 AM:
IF YOU SHOVED BILL MARTZ KNOWLEDGE OF COYOTES UP A FLEAS ASS, IT WOULD RATTLE AROUND LIKE A BB IN A BOXCAR.
Good one, huh Bill? Your turn.
Posted by Locohead (Member # 15) on October 22, 2005, 09:06 AM:
"Make like a tree and leave"
(only for reference)
"Make like a circumscision and Head Out" lol
Posted by Rich Higgins (Member # 3) on October 22, 2005, 09:22 AM:
Danny,
Make like a shepherd...
Make like a plumber....
Make like an amoeba....
Make like Onecoyote's ex-wives..... ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Posted by Fehler (Member # 713) on October 24, 2005, 08:31 PM:
Might? ...mites grow on a chickens ass.
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