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Author
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Topic: Lost my dad tonight.
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Cdog911
"There are some ideas so absurd only an intellectual could believe them."--George Orwell.
Member # 7
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posted April 21, 2006 08:40 PM
Not to take away from Leonard's situation by any means, but I just wanted to let a few of my close friends who frequent here know that I lost my dad this evening. My brother called shortly after 7 to let me know that the neighbors had found him, already gone. Apparently, he died yesterday very early. He was 66. No hospital. No nursing home. He died at home on his own terms.
Aside from being my dad, he was my little league coach, my scout leader, my chief when I was on the fire department, my hunter safety instructor, the guy that first introduced me to coyotes, and my friend.
He embraced my wife like his own daughter because her dad was anything but a good man, and my dad saw the need. His grandbabies were his pride and joy and his wallet was overflowing with pictures and newspaper articles about theirs and our accomplishments. Just so he could brag. You didn't even have to ask.
He once told my wife that his only disappointment in me was that I never pursued my degree in wildlife management or that I never explored the talent for journalism my pre-college testing said I possessed. He didn't know that she'd told me what he said until one day, not even a year ago, when I was finally able to proudly show him the staff listing for Trapper & Predator Caller magazine with my name under Field Editors. He didn't have to say a thing. He quietly sat there, running his fingers up and down the margin with a smile on his face. My dad saw something in me that I just chose to overlook, and he was right all along. That was my dad.
I never chose to pursue my chosen degree field partly because of my love for him. My mom was diagnosed with cancer during my senior year of college. Shortly after I graduated, she left this world, and the old man found himself alone, except for me. My brother and sister were both married and I wasn't. I felt that since dad and mom had always been there to make sacrifices for me thoughout my life, the time had come for me to give it back a little. I had offers on the table from Kentucky, Illinois and Wyoming for game warden positions, and I passed on them all so I could stay with dad until he adjusted to being alone once again. I never told him that (partly because he would have been really pissed at me) but I don't regret that decision a bit.
There was even a day when my wife and I were dating that I pretty much told her I didn't think things were going to work out. She was crying, I was on the verge, and the old man took me aside and told me if I didn't straighten my shit up right quick, I was going to make a really stupid mistake. Then he threatened to give me a size 10 ******* (his words, not mine) if I didn't get back over there and set things back right. Two kids later, I'm thinking he was right. Again.
My dad is gone. My mom is gone. And my little family circle has tightened up a lot tonight, but part of me celebrates that dad, who was a Methodist but sang in the Catholic choir every Sunday because we're from a small town and dad was always one to help where there was a need (they were short on baritones), is sitting at the foot of God right now, receiving just reward for a life well lived, reuniting with my mom, and Anne, his second wife, and all the people he's ever loved that went before him, as they wait patiently for me and those that are still here.
God, I'm going to miss him like all hell, and frankly, I'm having some trouble typing right now thru the tears, but there will no longer be the problems with his heart and the loneliness of burying two wonderful women. I did my best and I hope I made him proud. You never get so old that you don't need to know that your old man thought you were doing right.
Good bye, dad. I love you.
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I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something; and, because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.
Posts: 5438 | From: The gun-lovin', gun-friendly wild, wild west | Registered: Jan 2003
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Andy L
HI, I'M THE NEW MODERATOR OF THE CENTRAL MISSOURI FORUM, PULL MY FINGER!
Member # 642
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posted April 21, 2006 08:42 PM
Damn.
Sorry for your loss Lance. As usual, dont really know what to say.
God Bless,
Andy
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Andy
Posts: 2645 | From: Central Missouri | Registered: Apr 2005
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brad h
Knows what it's all about
Member # 57
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posted April 21, 2006 09:46 PM
I really am sorry to hear that, Lance.
Stay strong.
Brad
Posts: 346 | From: Glendive MT | Registered: Jan 2003
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JD
HONORARY OKIE .... and Tim's at fault!
Member # 768
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posted April 21, 2006 10:11 PM
quote:
You never get so old that you don't need to know that your old man thought you were doing right.
WOW! The truth of that statement carries a lot of weight buddy.
Sounds like you were blessed with an awesome father & an awesome relationship with him. I`m terribly sorry for your loss & yet happy for you in that you did have a lifelong friend in your dad, how cool is that, happy memories will ultimately help you deal with his passing in a healthy way I`m sure.
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Jason
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What do Obama & TA17Rem have in common........both are clueless asshats!!!
Posts: 1456 | From: NE. | Registered: Dec 2005
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The Outdoor Tripp
Knows what it's all about
Member # 619
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posted April 22, 2006 07:08 AM
Beautiful post, beautifully written.
Your dad had, and still has, many reasons to be proud. He sounds like a wonderful man -- in many ways quite similar to mine. You most certainly were blessed
Remember him always Lance; he is still with you, and will always be -- in your memories, heart and soul.
I mourn your loss and wish you strength and time.
You'll be in my prayers,
Tripp
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The Outdoor Tripp
www.theoutdoortripp.com
"All great truths begin as blasphemies."
Posts: 805 | From: Texas | Registered: Mar 2005
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted April 22, 2006 08:39 AM
I'm sorry to hear the news, Lance. May you find as much comfort in the association of your friends here as I have. We will all mourn your loss. LB
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 31582 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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LionHo
Knows what it's all about
Member # 233
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posted April 22, 2006 10:12 AM
Lance,
I'm sorry to hear of your loss.
Your Dad had reason to swell with pride; I'm touched by what you just wrote.
The pain might be acute, now, but in time it gets replaced by all the sweet memories, of how our loved ones are still such a part of our makeup and of our very being.
I lost my Mom a little more than a year ago, and am reminded of how the grieving process has since progressed, now and with previous losses, too. (I've lost 4 members of my immediate family; being I'm the youngest of 5, I got it from an early age this was probably part of the deal. Just turned 46 ten days ago.)
Whenever I reach goals, I tend to get the most reflective. Having just hit a big longstanding one this month, I've been fondly recalling the contributions from my Mom (tenacious, artist, and a raconteur) and Dad (early Alpha Geek, photographer and outdoorsman, perfectionist), and my brothers Mike and Pete (adventurers, hunters, fishermen). Can't be certain but I believe it's possible they might all conspired to have nudged my lion into position? I seem to recall having requested some of that kind of assistance...
Ivan AKA LionHo
Posts: 88 | From: Ventana Wilderness, CA | Registered: Aug 2003
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Tim Behle
Administrator MacNeal Sector
Member # 209
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posted April 22, 2006 11:15 AM
Lance,
I hate to hear the news. He must have been a hell of a man, judging by the quality of son that he raised.
Tim
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Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take
an ass kickin'.
Posts: 3160 | From: Five Miles East of Vic, AZ | Registered: Jun 2003
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Locohead
World Famous Smoke Dancer
Member # 15
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posted April 22, 2006 01:29 PM
Lance,
I'm soo sorry to hear of your loss bro'. I can't begin to imagine what losing your pops must be like. I too am very close to my dad and he is and has always been been very supportive of me. I know the topic here is the relationship you have had with your dad not mine. But it grieves me to imagine how sad it must be for you! Boy, What Tim said!!!
If your sacrifice was kept in secret all these years, I can assure you, he is very proud of you once again today!!!! ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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I love my critters and chick!!!! :)
Posts: 2219 | From: CO | Registered: Jan 2003
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Az-Hunter
Hi, I'm Vic WELCOME TO THE U.S. Free baloney sandwiches here
Member # 17
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posted April 22, 2006 02:42 PM
Lance, sorry to hear of your Dads passing, nothing affects a son, like that time when his father dies. It's nice to hear you speak highly of him, your a lucky man. So many times Ive engaged in conversation with a guy, and get around to asking about his family and father, and when asked if he is still living or where he is, the answer of "don't know,and don't give a shit" has come out?
Im always saddened to hear that kind of response, I'd give all I have, to have my father come back for just a day, to sit and recall times past,and tell him how much I miss having him around.
Frequently, when I think about my Dad, I pull out his old shot glass, pour a short shot,raise the glass, and thank him for all he was.....tonight I'll do it again, and pour one more for your Dad and praise him too.
Posts: 1638 | From: 5 miles west of Tim | Registered: Jan 2003
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varmit hunter
Knows what it's all about
Member # 37
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posted April 22, 2006 03:39 PM
Lance I am so deeply sorry. It seems like the both of you had a great deal to be proud of.
I know his loss is terrible, but it sounds like you will have many memories to treasure.
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Make them pay for the wind.
Posts: 932 | From: Orange,TX | Registered: Jan 2003
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duckndawg
PAKMAN
Member # 829
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posted April 22, 2006 04:45 PM
Lance your dad is one hell of a man. I'm glad I had the chance to know him. I'm sorry for your loss, He is still shining his light down on you and the rest of your family. I'm sorry for your loss, if you need anything just call.
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Perserverance is a virtue,,,unless your an idiot
Posts: 6 | From: central Kansas | Registered: Apr 2006
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Krustyklimber
prefers the bunny hugger pronunciation: ky o tee
Member # 72
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posted April 22, 2006 05:45 PM
Lance,
WOW!?! I am truely sorry to hear that. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Krusty 
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Think about how stupid the average person is, then realize that half of them are stupider than that!
Posts: 1912 | From: Deep in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia | Registered: Jan 2003
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Alaskan Yoter
Knows what it's all about
Member # 169
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posted April 22, 2006 07:10 PM
Lance,
I can never truely express myself in words vai anything on the net, but my family truely sends our hearts out to you and yours.
Todd
Posts: 235 | From: Wasilla, Alaska | Registered: Mar 2003
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Cdog911
"There are some ideas so absurd only an intellectual could believe them."--George Orwell.
Member # 7
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posted April 22, 2006 08:15 PM
Thanks so much to all of you. Your words are more than enough to make me feel better right now. Duckndawg up there was one of the first responders that got to dad's house before the ambulance or law enforcement. That's a small town, the kind where everyone knows everyone else. And responding to an unattended fatality like this always involves someone you know. Often well. Drinking coffee every afternoon kind of well. It's a tough job and I want to thank Jeff and the other guys on the fire department right here for the respect and dignity they showed my dad's body while awaiting the arrival of myself, my brother, the coroner and the mortician. It means more to us than you could ever know. On top of that, the FD is escorting the funeral procession from the church at one end of town to the cemetery at the other using a fire truck my dad helped acquire back in the mid-70's when he was fire chief.
It's going to be as tough row to hoe, but we're finding out more and more to indicate to us that dad might have known his time was short. The hardest part is knowing that I no longer have anyone to go to for advice. I guess I'm on my own from here on out. I just hope I heard everything the old man had to say before he went on.
I find comfort in knowing that dad was a Christian man who lived a Christian life and we know that today, he is getting his rewards for the life he lived. Yeah - he had a helluva temper. I found myself on the business end of that gun more than once in my life. But, he never laid a hand on me. Ever. I only hope I can be half the man he has been for me.
Again, thanks for the kind words. I'll try to post a copy of the obit due out in tomorrow's paper.
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I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something; and, because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.
Posts: 5438 | From: The gun-lovin', gun-friendly wild, wild west | Registered: Jan 2003
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Crow Woman
Knows what it's all about
Member # 157
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posted April 23, 2006 01:09 AM
Lance,my friend... You are in my deepest prayers! I'm so sorry for your loss but deeply proud to know you and be able to read your words this morning about your Father.
Take as little or as much time needed to grieve through all of the stages. You know that my Dad was my best friend among many other things in my life as well. Some may get through rather quickly where myself took a little longer to learn how to live again without him in my life.
Reflections are a perfect choice of words as used above. Your post has made me see reflections and I thank you for that. Finally, as I type this to you I can say that I have completed my stages in grieving. It has been a long road, 5 years to be exact.
On his 5 year anniversary date of crossing over this year, I finally took his watch that the battery died 27 days after he left us, dusted it off and put a new battery in it. Like a true Timex it is, the hands started moving. It was a moment in my life on April 4th that I realized that a very big part of me had died along with him. When I saw the watch start ticking again, for me, it was a message from my Dad that it was time like his watch, for me to start living again.
You will have some rough times like out of the blue wanting to pick up the phone and call him, like I'm sure Leonard will be experiencing. But with the support of your friends on this board and in your life, you will get through this.
I guess what I'm trying to say is take as much time to grieve as you need, but try not to take as long as I did and lose so much along the way. Again, you are in my most deepest thoughts and prayers this morning. Be good to yourself and be gentle!
Crow Woman
p.s. I now wear his watch daily as a reminder to Live and carry on through his teachings, where he can not!
[ April 23, 2006, 01:13 AM: Message edited by: Crow Woman ]
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Sheri L Baity
Lord, Please give me peace, because if you give me strength, I might beat someone to death!
Posts: 687 | From: Covington | Registered: Mar 2003
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Cdog911
"There are some ideas so absurd only an intellectual could believe them."--George Orwell.
Member # 7
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posted April 23, 2006 04:56 AM
Here is dad's obituary -
Garold Homman
SOLOMON — Garold Homman, 66, Solomon, died Thursday, April 20, 2006.
Mr. Homman was born March 2, 1940, in Solomon, the son of the late Herbert and Alice Marie (Miller) Homman. He graduated from Solomon High School in 1958. He was a member of the Presbyterian Church of Solomon, the Abilene Elks and a former Solomon fire chief and Solomon city councilman.
He married Rita Obermeyer in 1960. She died in 1988. He married Anne Reck in 1993. She died in 2004.
Survivors include two sons, Brad and wife Michelle of Solomon and Lance and wife Lisa of Abilene; a daughter, Jill Curran and husband Ted of McPherson; seven grandchildren, Ryan Curran, Rhea Curran, Daiian Homman, Blake Homman, Bryson Homman, Brooke Homman and Tabor Homman; a brother, Larry of Solomon; a sister, Marlene Duran of Cortez, Colo.; and several nieces and nephews.
The funeral will be at 10 a.m. Tuesday at Immaculate Conception Catholic Church, the Revs. John Wolesky and Jack Craig officiating. Burial will be in Prairie Mound Cemetery, Solomon.
Memorials may be made to the Solomon Alumni Association or the Solomon Alumni Scholarship Foundation, in care of Carlson-Becker Funeral Home, 208 W. Fourth, Solomon 67480.
The family will receive friends from 7 to 8 p.m. Monday at the funeral home.
Pastor Jack always asks family members to take a moment and write down a fond memory of the deceased so he can incorporate those into his funeral service. Where do I start?
My dad and I (all three of us kids, for that matter) were never close until after my mom died.
He as the work horse and the grand executioner while my mom was the nurse maid and the soft shoulder. My brother and sister both kind of took after dad with their stubbornness and their talents. I, on the other hand, was more like my mom - a middle child that leaned toward music, books, and the like. Throughout mom's battle with cancer - 22 long months - dad was the lighthouse in the storm for all of us. Always upbeat. Always hopeful. He never shed a tear or showed any weakness toward his support for mom's battle in front of us kids.
Mom passed shortly after two in the morning in her hospital room in Salina. Afterwards, we returned to our house and tried to get some rest before the wave of people we knew would hit us the next day. I went to my room while my brother and his wife Michelle staked out a bedroll in the folks' bedroom at dad's insistence. Dad turned out the last of the lights and made himself comfortable in his recliner in the living room just outside my open door. As I lay there in the darkness, not fully absorbing the impact of what had just happened to us, I could hear a sound. It was very soft, but I knew what it was. It was my dad's muffled sobs as he cried for the first time in my life. At least, the first time I had ever seen him cry.
And I knew right then and there just how much he loved my mom, despite the gruff exterior and hardass attitude.
Dad was a bull. Maybe 5'8 and a handful over three hundred pounds. Solid as a brick shithouse until his heart problems got the better of him.
I never saw him cry again, until he walked up to Anne's casket for the first time and looked down on her body. Then, in the company of his three kids and family that loved him more than we can ever put into words, the bull broke down and cried. My brother, my sister and I all put our hands around him a dn hugged him as tight as we could. Our hearts broke to know that he was giving a second wife back to God and we could only wonder why.
But that's God's will. Instead of losing two wives, dad chose to look at things from the perspective that God had blessed him with two incredible women. His life went on and he fought every day to stay here where he could enjoy his grnadkids. Lord knows he enjoyed his grandbabies. I can honestly say that my dad was what every child deserves for a "papa".
Dad spent his entire life in this town. he helped build it, protect it, and made it a better place to live for being here. He was known by God only knows how many people and knew more than that, so I expect that the funeral will be huge. Even bigger than my mom's where over 300 people joined in the procession from the church to the cemetery. If you want to know how much people thought of you, imagine looking back from that cemetery on the hill and seeing a line of headlights stretching over a mile and out of sight back to and beyond the dity's edge.
We're having the funeral at the Catholic church even though dad was a Presbyterian. He sang in the Catholic choir because Anne was a staunch Catholic and never missed a Mass. Dad never agreed to convert, but they needed a baritone, and dad was a very talented singer, amongst many talents. The Catholic church is bigger than either of our other churches, so Father called us yesterday and offered their building for us to use. Yesterday afternoon, Father called again and offered to hold Mass for dad. I've never heard of an instance where the Catholic church asked to hold Mass for a protestant. We were overwhlemed by that gesture. The choir he enjoyed being a part of will sing at his funeral. Amazing Grace and How Great Thou Art. Two of my favorites, and dad's as well.
Dad was never a sports fan until I began going to college. From then until he died, he was a big K-State fan. Bigger than me, and it's my alma mater! His car was silver and he rarely was without something purple on him somewhere. (I always wanted to give him hell because his little Chevy pickup is Sooner red.) The casket we chose for him is silver, and the spray of flowers is purple and white. He'd have gotten a real kick out of that.
He'll be buried in the local cemetery with other Hommans who date back to the Solomon community as far as 1803 or so. Someday, I'll be buried there, too, along with my folks, my grandparents, and many unknown ancestors that I know little about. I find a sense of comfort in standing on that hill, looking back toward town and knowing that this is soil from where I came, and the soil to where I am going for eternity. This place was a part of dad, and finally, he will once again become a part of this place.
Well, I've gone on and on and probably made no sense, so I'll hang this one up and put it to bed. We expect a lot of visitors today since the official word is out in this morning's paper so I'd better get around and head for Solomon to help get ready. Thanks again for all the kind words of support. They mean so much to me right now. And Leonard, you're right. Ronnie was, too. You can feel it, can't you? Despie the thousand of miles between us, you can feel your friends in this community of hunters standing shoulder to shoulder with you. Thanks, all.
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I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something; and, because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.
Posts: 5438 | From: The gun-lovin', gun-friendly wild, wild west | Registered: Jan 2003
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TheHuntedOne
Knows what it's all about
Member # 623
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posted April 23, 2006 06:44 AM
From our family to yours, we hope you find strength and peace - and that the memories help to get you through this.
Stand tall, just like he would have wanted,
Al
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The On Line Resource For Custom Call Makers
THO Game Calls
Posts: 266 | From: New Hampshire | Registered: Mar 2005
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DAA
Utah/Promoted WESTERN REGIONAL Hunt Director
Member # 11
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posted April 25, 2006 05:42 AM
Very sorry for your loss Lance.
- DAA
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"Oh yeah, they're gonna talk to you, and talk to you, and talk to you about individual freedom, but they see a free individual, it's gonna scare 'em." -- George Hanson, Easy Rider, 1969.
Rocky Mountain Varmint Hunter
Posts: 2676 | From: Salt Lake City, UT | Registered: Jan 2003
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Boshelbo
PAKMAN
Member # 749
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posted April 25, 2006 10:57 PM
Lance,
I am so sorry for the loss of your father. Unfortunately, I can totally relate. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Shelley
Posts: 7 | From: San Rafael, CA | Registered: Dec 2005
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Jay Nistetter
Legalize Weed, Free the Dixie Chicks
Member # 140
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posted April 26, 2006 06:25 AM
Lance, Your love and affection for your father is revealed in what you wrote. Your loss is not yours alone and will serve to strengthen you as well as others.
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Understanding the coyote is not as important as knowing where they are.
I usually let the fur prime up before I leave 'em lay.
Posts: 1006 | From: Arizona | Registered: Feb 2003
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scruffy
Knows what it's all about
Member # 725
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posted April 26, 2006 06:40 AM
Lance, sorry to hear about your loss.
later,
scruffy
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Git R Done
Posts: 361 | From: south central Iowa | Registered: Nov 2005
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Joel Hughes
SPECIAL GUEST
Member # 384
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posted April 26, 2006 08:32 AM
Sorry to hear the news, Lance. Sounds like a great man. God Bless.
Joel
Posts: 145 | From: texas | Registered: Aug 2004
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Merle
Knows what it's all about
Member # 45
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posted April 26, 2006 03:32 PM
Dear Lance,
Our loss is God's gain. The Bible says in Psalms 116:15, Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.
God obviouly wanted that wonderful father of yours to be with him.
God's blessings on your household,
Merle
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Good Hunting To Ya ! !
Merle
Posts: 13 | From: Oregon City, Oregon | Registered: Jan 2003
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Cdog911
"There are some ideas so absurd only an intellectual could believe them."--George Orwell.
Member # 7
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posted April 27, 2006 07:31 PM
I want to take to opportunity to thank each of you guys and gals who posted here, sent me cards, e-mails, even phone calls. What a great community of which to be part. I'm proud to count each of you among my friends.
We had a wonderful funeral service for dad. The church was nearly full and the combined efforts of Pastor Jack and Father Walenska were nearly overwhelming. As we walked out of the church behind dad's casket, I took pause to raise my head a few times and look into the eyes of the people he loved, and who loved him. Every set of eyes I saw, men and women alike, old and young, were red, swollen, and full of tears - a testimony to the effect my dad had on those around him. At the stairs leading down from the church, my cousins and dad's closest friends lifted the casket and were immediately relieved of that duty by eight firefighters who then took the casket and transferred it to the hose bed of one of the city's pumper units - one dad had led the effort to buy many years ago. Behind that unit was the city's newest fire apparatus, a state of the art Quick Attack unit that the FD let dad help dedicate when it arrived earlier this year. These two trucks, with firefighters on the tail boards, carried dad's body the entire length of his hometown with their lights on and Old Glory flying overhead. The line of cars stretched well over a mile. It brought tears to my eyes to look in the rear view mirror and see headlights stretching as far back as anyone could see. As Father finished the Lord's Prayer at the cemetery, emergency dispatch toned out the FD pagers announcing "Final call, Chief 861" for most all of the state of Kansas to hear. It was all very, very touching.
One other bit of news. My dad was a key player in building the PREDATR calls I've sold up to now. To help keep him busy and out of Anne's hair when she was alive, and just plain busy after she had died, I had dad do a lot of the lathe work for me. Over time, I took over most of that, but he is responsible for some part of nearly every call I've sold to date. Because of that, and in tribute to him, I have decided to completely discontinue all the models of calls we made together. If you have one, they're invaluable and priceless to me, and worth a bit more to collectors now, too, I guess. But, don't fear. I've got a dozen in the new replacement models sitting on my new work bench right now, and they'll be as good or better than ever before. I can't let the name die just because dad is gone.
Anyway, thank you again to everyone. Your compassion and kind words have meant a lot thru difficult times.
[ April 27, 2006, 07:32 PM: Message edited by: Cdog911 ]
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I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something; and, because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.
Posts: 5438 | From: The gun-lovin', gun-friendly wild, wild west | Registered: Jan 2003
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